Pattern: Description

A good descriptive paragraph usually relies on words and phrases that appeal to a person's sight, smell, taste, sound, and touch.

This sample paragraph, which also narrates a story, relies on more description than the sample "Narration" paragraph. As a result, a person unfamiliar with airplane moves may not have a clear picture of what the author means when he notes "figure-eights, slow flight, and steep turns," but the description and narration of "air-starting" is vivid. Attention to such details as the rapidly dropping altitude and how that felt against the writer's body adds suspense and makes the reader feel as though she or he is experiencing the flight with the author.

Also note that the paragraph has a clear purpose, stated in the first sentence. The first sentence, sometimes called the "topic sentence," shapes the direction of the paragraph. If the paragraph, for example, went on to describe easy maneuvers, this topic sentence would not have made sense, and the organization would have been unclear. Every paragraph should have a clear topic sentence.

Sample Paragraph

ENGLISH 100

Trying difficult maneuvers in an airplane without an instructor can prove fatal. One Monday soon after I had made my solo flight, I was up practicing some maneuvers. They were the most technically difficult feats a pilot is asked to perform, such as figure-eights, slow flight, and steep turns. After about two hours, I became bored with these maneuvers and decided to try something different. I had heard some old-time pilots talking about air-starting a plane. This is similar to roll, or clutch-starting a car, but is done in the air. I decided to give it a try. I flew the plane to 17,000 feet, seven thousand feet above the rocky terrain, and shut off the engine. With the engine off, the plane began to sink rapidly. Ignoring the feeling of doom in the pit of my stomach, I pointed the nose of the plane toward the ground. When the airspeed indicator said I was speeding toward the ground at 130 miles per hour, I began to step on the rudders alternately, right , left, right, left, to turn the nose of the plane so that the wind would catch the propeller and spin it. My altitude dropped to 14,000 feet and the prop was not moving. I started to move the rudder faster, right, left, right, left, but still nothing. The ground was rushing toward me, just over 2000 feet away and I still had no power. With less than 1,000 feet left I realized I had not turned the key to back on. I wiped the sweat off my palms, turned the key to "on" and gave the rudder one last movement right, then left. With the wind screaming by me the prop turned once, then again, and finally the engine started. I pulled back on the yoke and the yank of gravity pressed me back into my seat, pulling the skin on my face tight against my cheekbones. I was within ten seconds of dying and it was not the best feeling. Take my advice and never try a new maneuver without an instructor. He can find your faults--and possibly save your life!

 

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The OWL is an extension of the Community College of Denver Writing Center.
For more information contact

Bret Hann, Writing Center Coordinator
303-556-4709

This project was made possible in part by a grant from the Technology Learning Grant and Revolving Loan Program, State of Colorado, Department of Higher Education. We are also grateful for the ongoing support of Colorado Community Colleges Online (CCCOnline).

 

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Dr. Christine Johnson, President

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