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Before reading this essay, click on the links to the right. You will find instructions that explain how to use the Paper Bank. The assignment description offers basic suggestions for how to go about writing this type of paper. The tutor comments found in this sample essay focus on addressing how the author successfully uses transitions and key words and how the author expertly addresses the opposition to the paper's argument. These two skills, using transitions and key words and diffusing the opposition, are vital for a the creation of a well-written argument paper. |
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English 121
The Effects of Constant
Contact on a New Family
"One more push and we'll have this baby out!" The time you have been waiting for has come. Nine months of hope, confusion, expectations, and fears are all about to be realized. You and your partner have wondered what kind of parents you will be, what your baby will be like, and what the coming months and years hold in store. "And here she is! A girl with all of her toes and fingers. Dad, do you want to cut the cord?" You wonder, now what happens? The next few hours or days can have an important impact on your family's well-being. Because your ability to interact with your baby in your own way at this time will affect the physical and emotional health of your family, parents should be allowed to have constant contact with their babies from the moment of birth.
This is a great
introduction. The author tells a story to catch the reader's
interest. For more ideas about how
to write interesting introductions, see Interesting
Introductory Paragraphs.
Let me start by saying that I realize that there are important medical reasons why constant contact will not work in every situation. The health of the mother and child is of primary importance. If either will be compromised by constant contact, it obviously should not be done. Steps can be taken to ensure emotional and physical health in different ways when there is a medical reason for this precaution.
The author in the above
paragraph chooses to acknowledge immediately a potential
flaw in his point of view. Notice how the author weakens the
opposition to his argument by stating that he realizes that
his argument is not true for every situation. The author
eliminates potential opposition by clarifying that he is not
addressing particular groups, specifically unhealthy moms
and unhealthy newborns.
However, when both mother and child are healthy, the benefits of constant contact with parents from the moment of birth can have lasting effects on the emotional and physical well-being of the baby. The most profound effect on the physical health of the baby is the ability to nurse on demand. This is very important because the colostrum a mother produces before her milk comes in is extremely high in anti-bodies to protect the baby from disease and infection. The more colostrum a baby ingests, the healthier he or she will be for years to come. This nursing on demand also gives the baby his or her first sense of security when his or her needs are met promptly by a loving parent. The warmth and comfort that comes from the the skin contact, the reassuring heartbeat, and the warm nourishment received from a mother's breast go a long way toward giving a baby a secure, loved, and protected feeling right from the start.
"However" is a powerful
word. It is a small transition that quickly lets the reader
know the author is setting up a contrasting situation to the
one described in the second paragraph. Also note that in this
paragraph and in the ones that follow this author has a
strong knowledge of the medical benefits of breast feeding a
newborn. Depending on the audience and the author's
background, this evidence may not be considered "general"
knowledge. That is, medical information is specialized
knowledge that everyone probably doesn't know. It is general knowledge,
for example, that Washington, D.C. is the capital of the
United States; however, the population of Washington, D.C.
in 1901 would not be considered "general" knowledge. In the
latter case, you want to tell your reader how you know the
1901 population of Washington, D.C. Similarly, in the above
paragraph, it would be helpful to know that the information,
"The more colostrum a baby ingests, the healthier he or she
will be for years to come," came from a medical journal or
book and is not "just" the writer's opinion. By not clarifying where
your information comes from or how you know such facts, your
reader may wonder if you are making up information to make
your argument sound better.
Another important aspect of constant contact with parents is that whenever not eating or sleeping, the baby is getting to know his or her parents, rather than laying screaming in the nursery or getting to know a series of nurses. Since residing comfortably in the arms of a parent and getting to know your world in a serene, peaceful environment has to be more enjoyable than laying by yourself in an isolette, surrounded by squalling babies and the bustle of nursery activity, the constant contact baby is likely to be more relaxed and "lovable."
Notice how the author once
again uses a transition (This time the phrase "Another
important aspect of constant contact with parents".) to let
the reader know two important facts: 1) a new point is being
introduced; and 2) this point relates to the thesis in a
specific way. It is also important to
note that the authors uses the repetition of key words to
move from this paragraph to the next. "Lovable" and
"relaxed" appear at the end of the paragraph above and in
the paragraph below. The excellent use of
transitions and key words continues throughout the paper.
For more hints about the use of transitions and key words,
click on Transitions or Key
Words.
This more relaxed and "lovable" baby is very important for the bonding process between mother and child. If a mother first meets her baby several hours after birth and is faced with a baby who has been screaming for some time in the nursery, the reception will probably not be very positive. A baby who has been howling for some time cannot stop by him/herself, is stiff and resistant to cuddling, and often refuses to nurse. It is very difficult for a mother to feel "motherly" feelings for this red-faced, vocal little creature who seems to want nothing to do with her. On the other hand, if the baby is placed on the mother immediately after birth and allowed to suckle the breast if desired, the first feelings the mother has for her baby are awe and joy. This feeling is aided by hormones that were released during the birth process that give the mother a sense of euphoria often described as "maternal instinct" to love her baby. These hormones dissipate rapidly and are no longer present to help the mother who doesn't get to cuddle with her baby until several hours after birth. This lack of helpful hormones can hinder the bonding process.
In addition to the emotional bonding of constant contact, there are also physical advantages for the mother, particularly from the unrestricted nursing. When the baby first nurses or plays with the nipple, the mother's body releases a hormone that helps to contract the uterus. This helps prevent hemorrhage. On demand nursing also helps to ensure a good milk supply will be produced by the mother because a woman's milk is produced on demand. The more often a baby demands milk, the more milk will be produced. This healthy milk supply enables many mothers to feel a sense of pride and accomplishment at being able to nourish their baby. These positive feelings are reflected in the interaction with their baby.
If, for whatever reason, you as a couple have decided breast feeding is not for you, that does not mean your family will not reap many benefits from constant contact. You will still spend the time cuddling and getting to know your baby and giving your baby a good sense of security from the start. Additionally, fathers often feel they are able to get more bonding in this instance because they can share the feeding duties.
Once again the author
recognized a key aspect that the author's argument has
hinged upon up to this point: breast feeding. Instead of
making this condition a liability, the author uses this
potential weakness as another means to strengthen the
paper's argument. The author takes this opportunity to show
how the argument is true for a broad population, not just
those parents that decide to breast feed.
Not many years ago, fathers were relegated to hall-pacing and nursery window peeking. If they were allowed to touch their baby before taking him or her home, they were extremely fortunate. Now, fathers are included from the moment labor commences. They are present to support their partner through this trying period and to interact with their child from the moment of birth. Carrying his baby to the nursery for his or her first physical enables the father to feel like a part of the baby's life from the first instant. The comfort the father gives the baby through this first stressful time enables the baby to start developing trust in the father. This immediate sense of responsibility goes a long way toward ensuring that the father will venture to take an active part in the care of his newborn. Because the father is present for the initial bonding, an important foundation has been laid that the family can build on in the coming years.
The author in the above
paragraph also anticipated that some may say his argument is
true for Moms, but not for Dads. Again, the author then goes
on to explain how this is simply not true. Notice how much the author
had to anticipate the opposition as a means to strengthen
the paper's argument. In this paper the author addresses
three potential flaws and turns them into strengths.
Constant contact between the parents and their baby from the moment of birth has many advantages for all involved. The emotional and physical aspects add up to promote a healthy relationship that will help the new family through the sometimes turbulent months and years to come.
This conclusion is short
and to the point. The author wisely does not bring up a
bunch of new issues and ideas. Why? Well, new issues and
ideas will more likely leave the reader with more questions
than answers. The conclusion of an argument paper should
affirm the paper's argument, not leave the reader wondering
what point the author wanted to make. Save those new ideas
for your next writing assignment!
